I'm a very passionate kid. After doing the school play I noticed how much I loved performing. And now later when I think back of the times that I did mini shows in front of the class just for my joy I know that it's something I wanna do and keep doing! In middle school I was a bit lonely at first. But luckily through out the years I made friends. Did question alot of things I did back then but I'm glad to say that they're still friends with me till this day! We do go our opposite ways ofcourse but we're still meeting sometime or another. While learning for the exams of my last year of middle school I did some performances aswell. Mostly singing but also my first big musical that I played in! But more about the performances I did on the PERFORMANCE page.

 

My family

 

If I have to be honest, My family is not that big. But that does make it a close connection that I have with everyone in the family. Quick introduction: I have a big and a little sister. Two aunts and one uncle. A grandpa from my mothers side and grandma from my dads. And ofcourse my mom. Sadly my dad has passed away in 2019 just before my exams. It was out of nowhere and it's still a big gap to be honest in the family. But we're all strong and keep eachother going ofcourse! That's what I love about this family aswell. If someone is sad or has something going on with them, we can all talk about it or not if we don't want to. I wish everyone a healthy relationship with their family just like us! Because together you're the strongest

 

Coming out

 

It has been almost 4 years since I came out as Transgender. I found it really hard to come out because I found out just before my dad had passed away. I mean I've always known something was up but not exactly what. I did came out as bisexual before that but that was not so hard. Gen Z is pretty open if it comes to your sexuality. But being a boy in the wrong body. That was something I did not want to believe in the first place. Because my family already had some things going on in that period of time, I did not want to be the one to throw another thing in the circle aswell. But after a few weeks I did tell my mother. And she was very supportive :D I basically asked her what she thought of transgenders. Like how much more noticeable do you want to have it?

After waiting for a really long time I finally got in the hospital for meetings before getting the diagnose and getting to start with hormones. A lot a meetings were planned and after all of those problems and talking about your life I got the recept for the hormones!! Now I'm like 6 months into transition and my first surgery is planned mid March/April. (atleast so they said) I am really excited but also curious to how it will heal and how long that is going to take.

 

My top surgery!

April 18th was my top surgery planned. Well actually it was April 4th but it got cancelled and set on a other date sadly. After being sad and a little bit angry I was actually pretty relieved for some reason, I guess that date was not meant to be? Anyway I had 2 weeks left to wait and some days I was like really nervous that it made me scared to get ill. But when the day was there I was really calm the whole day. Even when they did all the checks and asked somethings I was calm and excited.

 

After waiting a bit longer I went to the O.R and had to lay down on a weird bed looking thing. When I was looking at the ceiling and all the random nurses and surgeons that came in I was thinking ''so they're going to cut me in like 10 minutes?'' I don't know why I thought that but my mind can come up with these weird not really normal thoughts whenever something is happening. After I think 1,5 hours I woke up in a other room with ice cream in my hand so ate that :)

I also talked with the nurses that were walking around there but don't remember what I said. The only thing I can think of that moment is that I ate the ice cream and talked about the most random things I could think of at that moment and they probably thought ''not again a person who is high from medication and can not stop talking'' but they had to deal with me that moment sorry man.

 

Luckily nothing was wrong and the surgery went well! So after an hour or 2 I got to go home again. I did feel a bit loopy still but wanted to stand up to quickly after waking up so the nurses had to pay attention wether or not I would just stand up because I don't have the patience to wait for my body to recover >:)

But I got to go home eventually and sat in the car on my way home. After I got home I felt pretty tired and to be honest the first 4 days after surgery I didn't do alot which is not a bad thing and completely normal for someone who had their top surgery. But I don't like doing nothing, I felt useless after 2 days of sitting on bed or sitting on the couch.

 

Right now I am 3 weeks into recovering and still feel really bored but luckily the recovery is going well. And I am still fighting to not have depressed thoughts every now and then. These 6 weeks of recovering is letting me think A LOT. Which is not always a good thing for my brain. But I am halfway there and after that I get to work out and go out again ^^ I'm excited for the freedom after this!

Future plans?